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Davey Johnson resolves to end his managerial career in style.
With that in mind, I've once again managed to get my hands on several members of the Nationals' New Year's resolutions. (Don't ask how I pulled that off. A reporter never reveals his secrets.)
You may, however, get a kick out of reading last year's resolutions, a couple of which really did come to fruition (see, in particular, Charlie Slowes, Teddy Roosevelt and Nats fans as a whole). The one resolution that clearly wasn't met was my own, as evidenced merely by the topic of today's post.
OK, here we go with the Nationals' 2013 resolutions...
STEPHEN STRASBURG: Be on a big-league mound, with ball in hand, come October.
DREW STOREN: Be on a big-league mound, with ball in hand, come October, with two strikes and two outs in a potential postseason series clincher ... and officially put that demon to rest forever.
BRYCE HARPER: Make that Rookie of the Year performance seem like peanuts with a sophomore performance for the ages.
ADAM LAROCHE: Make a decision. This week. Please.
MICHAEL MORSE: Whether it's here in Washington or in parts yet unknown, put together a season worthy of a big-time contract next winter.
RYAN ZIMMERMAN: Play 162 games and be part of the MVP discussion.
GIO GONZALEZ: Once, just once, try to make it through a postgame interview without complimenting every other member of the Nationals organization. (NOTE: This resolution has no chance of coming true.)
JORDAN ZIMMERMANN: Whatever that was during the seventh inning of Game 4 of the NLDS, keep channeling it.
IAN DESMOND: Whatever that was during the entire 2012 season, keep channeling it.
DANNY ESPINOSA: Embrace the idea of emphasizing contact over swinging for the fences on occasion.
DENARD SPAN: As the 33rd man to patrol center field in Nationals history, don't give Mike Rizzo any reason to think he needs to find a 34th man.
JAYSON WERTH: Recognize why 2012 was so much more successful than 2011 on a personal level and continue doing what you do best instead of trying to be something you're not.
WILSON RAMOS: Simply put: Stay healthy and stay safe.
ROSS DETWILER: Make 30 starts and claim the title of "Best No. 5 Starter in Baseball."
DAN HAREN: Keep that lower back and hip loose and prove 2012 was merely a fluke and not the beginning of a downward trend.
TYLER CLIPPARD, RYAN MATTHEUS AND CRAIG STAMMEN: Pitch with the kind of passion previously exhibited only while reading passages from "Fifty Shades of Grey."
STEVE LOMBARDOZZI, TYLER MOORE, CHAD TRACY, ROGER BERNADINA AND KURT SUZUKI: Ensure the Goon Squad is as effective in 2013 as it was in 2012.
ZACH DUKE AND BILL BRAY: Make Nats fans forget about Sean Burnett, Michael Gonzalez and Tom Gorzelanny. Good luck with that.
HENRY RODRIGUEZ: Faced with the option of throwing the ball all the way to the backstop or not throwing the ball all the way to the backstop, go with NOT throwing the ball all the way to the backstop. (NOTE: Resolution unchanged from 2012.)
DAVEY JOHNSON: If this really is the end of the road, don't leave the dugout with any regrets. Pour everything into this season.
MIKE RIZZO: Don't veer off the course that has brought this franchise to this point. But don't be afraid to do something bold if it gives this franchise a better chance to win the World Series this year without destroying its long-term chances.
TED AND MARK LERNER: Keep staying out the way and letting smart baseball men make smart baseball decisions.
BUD SELIG: Just step in already and do something to resolve the most ludicrous TV rights deal in MLB.
NATS MARKETING DEPARTMENT: Figure out a creative way to keep the Presidents Race entertaining without becoming a farce. Otherwise, sit back and let championship-caliber baseball sell itself at long last.
NATS FANS: Remember what made 2012 so special, remember the feeling you experienced at the end of Game 4, remember the feeling you experienced at the end of Game 5 and continue helping develop D.C. into a great baseball town.
MARK ZUCKERMAN: Do a better job coming up with story ideas so I don't have to resort to writing another lame New Year's resolutions post in 2014. (NOTE: This resolution has no chance of coming true.)